Dispatch from the Frontier:
Citizens of the New World, attendees of upcoming chap reunion, I have a polite reminder for each of you.
The much anticipated momentous event that is the return of Ozcar Wildeflower the Third is to be a chapstravaganza of the highest order. All those who are honoured enough to be invited to attend must have already realized the spectacular opportunity this gathering presents for those dandies, fops, cads, lords and ladies, urchins, knights, and so forth to 'strut their stuff' and bring to the entire Society's attention how utterly presentable they are. I am speaking, gentlechaps, of your dress for the evening. How you adorn yourselves this Saturday soir will be duly noted and marked down forever in the annals of the UCCS history books... do not let this opportunity pass by to bring our your finest velvets, tweeds, chantilly and lace garments and impress all of the Royal York patrons with how utterly magnificently you can wear whatever style it is you have the privilege of sporting. In other words... dress accordingly. I have heard rumor that there may be a fellow with one of those new fangled motion-picture cameras there... You are chaps... make us proud!!! Make Ozcar proud!!! Long live the Tweed Revolution!!!
And.... While keeping a careful eye on the goings-on of the wild Upper Canadian frontier, I, Sgt. Douglas Furrier, BFA, have been made aware by the athorities of the existence of a certain wonderous child of nature that has graced our rugged country and brought twirling joy to the English stationed here. I have heard the wonderful news that this creature, Chapahontas, will be present at the upcoming Chaptivites at the Royal York Hotel this Saturday. I for one will be honoured to share a drink with her!
I have the following information from the Captain at Fort York concerning Chapahontas. I repeat here for you all:
"Chapahontas is an Indian princess, the daughter of Powhatan, the powerful chief of the Algonquian Indians in the Tidewater region of Virginia. She was born to one of Powhatan's many wives. They named her Matoaka, though she is better known as Chapahontas, which means "Little Wanton," playful, frolicsome little girl."
What an oportunity to Frolic with Chapahontas!! I cannot wait!
Yr's in earnest faith,
Douglas Furrier
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