22 August, 2007

of pomp and vigour on a Saturday afternoon: the 2007 Chaps Olympiad

My fellow chaps,
First, an apology, this e-pistle is long overdue, and shows a remarkable lack of grace with regards to due regards, erm, regarding the events of some weekends ago. Matters in the armoire swept me up, as always, and one must occasionally struggle past the fatigue of being...overworked.
I must thank you all profusely for allowing me to participate in the Vigorous sport and imbibations (sic) of early August, during this year's edition of the Chaps Olympiad.
I commend especially Ozcar's Exemplary organizational skills (indeed, ahem, i commend All his Skills, but for our purposes here, I shall restrict myself to the matter "at hand"), as well as his kindness in "manning" the croquet set and grocery purchases. His queen's wave to the vulgoisie as the boat left the harbour showed outstanding pomp and elegance in the face of the disagreeable rabble.
Penchance's examination of the inaugural prize pineapple was prompt, reliable, and dignified. Furrier's conquering of the rubbish after first being bested by it in the rubbish removal event was...unprecedented, and Chetsy's ballet-like manoeuvres and bookish tenacity in the face of the Great Gut Stretch will be remembered with great fondness in years to come.
Without further adue, dear chappies, i lead you across the fields of uber-telegraph land, to a small "cyber" album of dagu-E-rrotypes highlighting moments of the great day:


To come soon: the Autumnal Classic, and a Wintertime-tea-party, sure la glace! And this time we will not part ways until we have engaged dear Hendricks in a congratulatory libation. All Hail the Noble Flaneur!

TooRoo, laddies,


11 August, 2007

just to know what our cousins are up to back in the homeland


picture a man...

caught in mid-stride, his gaze arrested on some yonder seemingly uninteresting thing.... yet he waits, he pauses, he gazes.... and then, he stops full. He takes a seat, his jaw resting in his hand, his eyes alternately fixed on yonder object or lost somewhere in his imagination, and he ponders... ponders, ponders, ponders, till the cows come home....

09 August, 2007

2nd UCCS Olympiad

Good Day, Chaprades,
my compatriots in Good Will, Good Sport and Good Gin.

A brief reminder of Saturday's UCCS Olympiad and Garden Sports Invitational.
[A long winded reminder to follow.]

Please arrive at the York Harbourfront Ferry Docks for 9 o'clock on the
morning of Saturday the 11th of August.
Given the Weather of late, we aim to partake in the Picnic, Sport, and
Ceremonies during the early hours, so that we may ferry back to the
Mainlande before any discomfort beneath the crisp collar.
And also that we may the earlier partake in a refreshing Pimms No. 1 Cup at
the Royal York.
Or several.
Chaps abroad will note this scheduling may allow the return to Vulgoise
undertakings later in the day.

This is a general call to have ready any wicker or reed picnic baskets,
thermal canteens, parasols or umberellas, and, of course, your finest white
or off-white linens for sporting vestment.

As ever, prepare yourself for Croquet, Brolly Gymnastics, Attendant
Football, Wading, and general Labyrinthine Athletics.

Until we Romp again.

Yrs in Simple Indulgences,
Ozcar Wildeflower III

Some pictures of the 1st Bi-anual Chap Olyimpiad to wet your appetites

Copy and paste the following into your browser:

07 August, 2007

And what prey tell...

is the Ponder-off? Could it be that most esteemed Voyager game of ages past?

So says Furrier

no one will beat me at the ponder-off.

Re: A nomination for membership

My good Sir, might I step out of time a second and say What the FUCK? Is this serious? This is the funniest thing ever, tell me its real and that he  seriously found you on the UCCS webpage and contacted you thinking you are  Ruddy Tempars The Vicar of Dual Cuntings. I hope you shall at least reply to him and inform him that you are not in fact related to the deceased.


06 August, 2007

A nomination for membership

My Fellow Chaps,

It would appear that my family in the old country has found me and is attempting to woo me back. I have claimed to be from a modest family. In truth I am the heir to an 8.5 million dollar estate. As the simple life pleases me I will not step up to claim my right. It would please me however to nominate the only link to world I once knew as a non-resident member of the Upper Canada Chap Society.

For your consideration:

Mr Timmy.A.Mgbadamegbulam
Barristers & Solicitors of the supreme court of Togo.

Please find a correspondence attached as a testament to his honour and integrity.

Yours, and mine,

Rudyard Ruddy Tempers,
The Vicar of Dual Cuntings

--- timmy mgbadam,barriester.

From the Offices of .Mgbadam & Mgbadam Solicitors
3rd floor Rue 6,Avenue 11 Cocody
Lome Republic of Togo
West Africa
Mr Timmy.A.Mgbadamegbulam
Barristers & Solicitors of the supreme
court of Togo.
Direct Tel: +228 961 8034


Private Message
I am contacting you for the claim of your late uncle fund that was deposited with the Eco-Bank International Lome, Togo. I am soliciting for your confidence in this matter, this is by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential. Though I know that a contact of this magnitude will make any one apprehensive, but I am assuring you that all will be well since I know everything about your late uncle fund. I have decided to contact you due to the urgency of this matter. Let me start by introducing myself properly to you. I am Barrister Timmy.A.Mgbadamegbulam, the personal Attorney to your late uncle Engr. P. B. Tempers (Snr) a contractor and importer here in lome-Togo. 3 years ago he was involved in a ghasty motor accident along Nouvissi express Road. He was Banking with Eco-Bank International Lome Togo and had a closing balance as at the end of september 2004, worth $ 8.5 million usd (Eight Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars).The bank now expects the Next of Kin to come forward as beneficiary. Efforts have been made by the management of Eco-Bank International Togo to get in touch with any of the Deceased Family or Relatives, but they have met with no success. Now the management under the influence of the bank Chairman and Members of the Board of directors, has made arrangement for the fund to be declared Unclaimed so that they can share the money amongst themselves. In order to avert this negative development, as part of my duty, I decided to track his last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you All documents and proof to enable you get this fund will be carefully worked out by me for this claim. I have secured from the probate an order of Mandamus to locate any of the deceased beneficiaries, and more so am assuring you that this claim is 100% risk free. On the receipt of your response i will furnish you with detailed clarification as it relates to this mutual benefit transaction. Call me upon receipt of this information.

Yours faithfully,
Mr Timmy.A.Mgbadamegbulam

Barristers & Solicitors of the supreme
court of Togo.
Direct Tel: +228 961 8034

05 August, 2007

Re: The 2nd Chap Olympiad - Prepare Thy Sporting Linens



What-ho Gents and Ladies,

Peerless news tiding to you, Prepare your inner beings for unconfinable Joy.

I am happy to Pronounce that this Saturday August the 11th shall be the date of:

The 2nd UCCS Chap Olympiad
To be held on Wards Island this coming Saturday

Come one, come all, come all day, come  all night.  Come again and again.
The Bi-annual event soon to be undertaken for the 2nd time shall feature  many of the classic spoftifs of the last Olympics as well as some new trial events.
What events you ask? Well let me inform you.
The Classics,
Imperial Rules Croquet (but of course)
Fountainside Impromptu Ballet
Old World Tourist Wooing
Crestless Cucumber sandwich tossing
The Great Gut Stretch Picnic luncheon
Attendant Football
The 100 yard Sunset Saunter

Trial sports
Labyrinth NAZI's
Umbrella Toss
ParasolKendo (for the ladies)
What will you need? You might ask  your butler to prepare you the some of he following:  Bright sport clothing or summer dresses, footwear suitable for walks in the grass, head wear, picnic basket filled with assortments of edibles to share, Umbrella or parasol (mandatory), field glasses, crestless cucumber sandwiches (the more the merrier), tea sets.
Hope to see you all out in your finest, this event is of course open to all who have someone with taste to dress them and, as always, is closed to the Vulgoise  (you know who you are).
Please forward to all who have been missed.
More news to come mid-week.

Yours Truly,
 Penchance Polyflute the Loinhearted